This house seems to get quieter and quieter each day. I miss the hum of the kids coming in and out, sitting out in the living room watching TV together, cuddling on the couch. The house is so quite tonight Kylie is at a concert, Christi is at work, Mike is asleep on the couch, so its just me and the dogs and the TV.

My heart if breaking because I cannot help my daughter and make her feel better since she is sick, her  husband is more interested in his video game than helping her. They are having car problems again and once again I am 5 hours away and have no way to help her. She is so stressed out and it worries me.

I'm so tired of my struggles at work, just wanting to have things they way they are suppose to, tired of being put in positions of not knowing what I am going to do each day. That security is unreal when the rug is pulled out from under you. Trying to have faith that it will work  out but man is it hard.

In some areas I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but in other areas it is as dark as the night with no light in sight. I'm ready for somethings to level out all over!

Have you ever felt like life was going on around you and your just watching? This is how I have been feeling lately. I watch everyone moving around going here and there and I feel stuck. I don't feel good most of the time, my head has hurt for the last few days, my TMJ has flared its evil head again, I feel like I can get my breath, I'm so over weight its just ridiculous and I have NO energy to go to a gym, ride a bike or take a walk. I'm tired I feel like there is something else going on with my body but just not sure how to explain it to my doctor, who quite frankly I'm just not sure that I like.

I'm trying to get my mind to overcome my body and how tired I feel to just do something, and so far its just not working. Today is one of those days where I feel lost. I haven't seen Kylie since Monday and won't get to see her until tomorrow. I am very proud of her goals she has, but really miss our time together as I know it won't be long and she will be off to college and if she does what her dreams are it will be far away. The house is so quite, today the silence is deafening!

It's 7:00 pm, I'm in bed really wanting to go to sleep but my brain does not want to shut down. The dog cost me $130 and we are still not sure what is going on. I did tell my daughter that she would have to pay half of the bill. I am just wanting her to understand that animals are more than just love and cuddles and having fun. They can cost a lot of money. I'm trying to teach her how to budget her money so that she is always saving for a long term, short term and a reserve fund in case of emergencies. I just am wanting her to do better than the others.

My husband and I have struggled with this for a long time and we are finally getting a handle on things and I just want to give her a good foundation to go on. She is a Junior this year and I think I need to sit down with a councilor to find out when she should be looking for scholarships and grants for college.

Getting through the rest of the month will be a major accomplishment, with my parents 50th Anniversary party coming up, and looking at possibly striking at work is just starting to get to me. Trying to give it to God but man it seems to always be in the back of my head.

Well here I am and my frustrations level is building. My almost 18 yr old is in golf, school clubs, and is working. I support her in all of this. My frustration is that she has a dog, that is hers, she had to have it. He has been through a lot. Well for some reason he stinks really bad! So last night after she got home and discovered this she thought the solution was to kennel the dog, the kennel is in MY ROOM! Now my room stinks, well it smells like lavender and stink. So I finally get a hold of her, she had a golf event today, told her she would need to give Loki a bath, that's not gonna work she says. Well he's not staying in my room and right now he is outside, mind you the dog has NEVER had to stay outside for long, let alone all night, but that is what she is wanting to do. He sister is taking him to the vet tomorrow to see what the problem is, I hope it is an easy solution and doesn't cost me a bunch of money.